Unschool After School

1. Switch up your after school routine. 

Instead of focusing on homework and extracurricular activities, give your child plenty of downtime and choice in what they do. Traditional schools can be extremely stressful with rigid rules, strict schedules, and little time for socializing. Children need free time to form an identity and cultivate their interests. Ask them what activities they want to do once school is over. Breathe into the “I don’t know,” and be open to trying different things without commitment. 

Four Things You Can Do To Try Self-Directed Education

Whether you’re currently homeschooling or attending public school, we invite you to dip your toes in the water of self-directed learning, or unschooling.

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Allow them to spend hours gaming or watching YouTube. You may worry about how much is too much, but the reality is that modern media is much more interactive and thought-provoking than what we had as children. You as an adult probably choose to spend time with screens as well! Make thoughtful agreements with your child instead of projecting your fears onto them. Ask if they want reminders to take a break, and respect their decision if they say no. Give them time to experience the consequences of their decisions (good or bad) and avoid saying, “I told you so” when a plan doesn’t work out. Unschooling is about learning their needs and limits, and children will not learn them if everything is controlled by their parents.

2. Unschool on the weekends

Use the weekends to follow your child’s lead. Ask them if they want to go to the park, museum, or library. Attend a local festival or event. Watch YouTube along with them. Avoid judgmental statements about their choices, even if you’d rather them go outside to play. You are practicing giving them the reins, and it’s unrealistic to expect a child to start working on novels or building rockets when they first have freedom. They are children and they want to play! Another favorite children’s activity: sleeping. Give them the weekends to rest their minds and bodies, and develop your own relaxation routines as a positive example for them.

How To Get Started With Self-Directed Education

To start self-directed education, handle legal steps, embrace deschooling, define family values, build a support network, and trust your child’s curiosity—no new supplies or structure required!

How To Get Started With Self-Directed Education

3. Strew with an open mind

In unschooling, strewing is the practice of putting out interesting activities or materials for your child to discover. Pick out random books from the library and set them on the coffee table. Lay some magazines on the kitchen table with scissors and glue. Fill a bowl with water and food coloring. Play a documentary on the living room TV. Don’t print off worksheets of math problems or writing prompts. At the most, you can print activities from sites like education.com or Pinterest–but for strewing, the less structure, the better. Think of strewing as an invitation to play, to engage with the world as we live in it. The most important part of strewing is non-attachment to the results. Children may engage with the activity, scavenge parts and use them in something else, or ignore it completely! That’s OK. You are respecting their ability to tune in to what they want to do at that moment. We as adults can get frustrated when we spend money on art kits or time setting up an experiment that the child has no interest in. Start with basic materials and see where your child’s natural interests are before you invest in fancy materials or subscription boxes. Their interests will also change over time, so always be flexible and open to how they respond to your offerings.

Your biggest job while unschooling is to focus on a healthy relationship with your child, where they can voice their feelings and needs without judgment. Avoid suggestive comments on their activities and never ask, “What are you learning?” Quizzing them returns them to the performance mindset of traditional school, instead of celebrating who they are and what they want at that moment. Unschooling is about freedom from external pressure and making a custom definition of success. It won’t look anything like what you’ve seen before. 

Above all focus on building a relationship with your child where they share their interests and dreams, where you learn about them as people, and where conversations about homework and chores are only a fraction of your interactions.

Unschooling is a mindset change that you can start anytime in your journey. Start tuning in to your child and focus on making every moment one of caring and joy.