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Mosaic Senior Advisor
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When it comes to self-directed learning and unschooling, many misconceptions can cloud our understanding. Conventional schooling has ingrained certain beliefs about how learning should look, making it challenging to trust the natural learning process that unfolds outside of conventional classrooms. As parents and facilitators, unlearning these myths is just as important as fostering an enriching learning environment for our young people. Let’s explore some of the most common misconceptions and why they don’t hold up in the real world.
Myth #1: Learning doesn’t happen unless it’s verified.
This is one of the biggest misconceptions school conditions us to believe. I myself was one who was always “winning” in school. I even became a certified teacher with an M.S. in Education. Although I learned the actual science and chose unschooling, my mind was still bogged down by all the pointless procedure, teacher-talk, ageism, etc. that runs rampant in the realm of school. The podcast we created (Unschooling with Kai) even became a subconscious way for me to prove that educational content was being absorbed. Once I began to fully trust the process of self-directed learning (sometime during Season 2) I could feel myself let go of the wheel, be more present, and enjoy the conversations much more. This is when I made great gains in deschooling—a process that requires continual self-evaluation, flexibility, and an open mind to weed out the unnecessary and inauthentic spoon-fed parts from the hegemonic culture of school and society.
Myth #2: Parents should always be interested in what their children are doing.
It’s an unspoken myth and to be honest, feigning interest is draining. Why do we feel a need to shelter our children from the reality that many people just won’t be attracted to what completely enthralls them? The truth is that kids can read our insincerity better than we give them credit for. It would be beneficial for all to be genuine in openly communicating our feelings. For example, I might say, Kai, I love how you set all of the blocks up for the planes to fly through and I even took a picture to share with Mom, but right now I’m not interested in pretending to be a pilot. Would you like to help me in the garden and taste the ripe tomatoes instead? By admitting our disinterest in certain topics, we save our energy for when our interests genuinely do intersect with our children’s. This is where the true magic happens.
Myth #3: If children are enjoying a YouTube video, they’re probably not learning.
I’m not talking about kid-friendly sing-a-longs. I’m not even talking about the cool STEM channels. I’m talking about any video that provides engaging content. Even if my son is watching some loud and annoying YouTuber, I’ve learned to respect his choices and interests the same way I would for an adult. From his very specific pursuits on YouTube, I’ve seen his content knowledge swell. I’ve seen his vocabulary explode with surprising words and skillfully placed phrases from the “non-educational” channels. I’ve also see him discover so many new things fascinating to him. Isn’t that one of our fears in not sending our kids to school: that they’d miss being exposed to the mile-wide (albeit inch-deep) scope?
Embracing a New Perspective on Learning
Letting go of conventional schooling myths isn’t always easy – it requires ongoing self-reflection and a willingness to challenge what we’ve been conditioned to believe. But once we release the need for constant verification, forced engagement, or control over how learning happens, we open the door to a richer, more meaningful experience for both ourselves and our children. The beauty of independent meaningful learning lies in its authenticity, its freedom, and its ability to honor each young person’s unique path. So the next time doubt creeps in, ask yourself: Am I holding onto a school-based mindset? If so, maybe it’s time to trust the process and let learning unfold in its own way.
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Daniel T. Moeller, M.Ed.
Having worked in and around early childhood education for the last 15 years, Dan stumbled upon the concept of unschooling. He found the practice and theory of unschooling to agree with all of the current research on early education he encountered in his master’s program while also disagreeing with a lot of what he witnessed in schools all over. With the full backing of his son and wife, Dan started unschooling his son. Early on, Dan’s son Kai came up with the idea to start a podcast. They made the idea a reality and “Unschooling with Kai” was born. Each episode centers on one of Kai’s interests (e.g. wild cats, Delta Force, tardigrades, etc.). Together, Dan and Kai research each topic and present the fascinating things they learn. “Unschooling with Kai” is now in season six and shows no sign of slowing. While not wrapped up in the intellectual world of unschooling, Dan enjoys reading, playing drums, skateboarding, all kinds of movement, enjoying nature, and spending time with his family.
